LOL!!! Huzzah, John!
Now that Halloween is over with, we now rush headlong into that most amazing, magical and harrowing time of the year: namely, Retail Advertising Beginning Increasingly Earlier Season, or RABIES. In the past, RABIES was well contained, usually starting around mid-November with its peak hitting sometimes around Christmas Eve. However, a new generation of increasingly aggressive strains of marketing executives have emboldened this season, to where outbreaks frequently happen as early as New Year’s Day.
Symptoms of this season include incessant signage, nausea, nervousness, anger, and your cellphone engaging in spontaneous, unsolicited sexting.
There are some useful, vital and highly irrelevant ways to survive this most dangerous of seasons. We must be on our guard against any sort of complacency and, in the interest of keeping bank accounts from becoming hosts for bloodsucking parasitic branch managers who constantly advertise “Overdraft Privilege” instead of genuine benefits, here are some tips to…
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